Only an ordinary person with an ordinary life sharing an ordinary moment.

<sub><sup>Do You ;
:x: wish you could live somewhere else: Not really.  I actually enjoy living in Lawrence, KS... just wish for a larger home.

:x: think about suicide:  Not anymore.  Have thought about just vanishing, but that's about it.

:x: believe in online dating:  I suppose it really depends on the person.  Online dating is very challenging.

:x: think others find you attractive:  I know of at least one person that thinks I am, but that's not saying much because he's crazy.

:x: want more piercings:  Not really.

:x: like cleaning:  I enjoy it sometimes.

:x: like roller coasters:  Meh...


:x: write in cursive or print:  Mostly Cursive.

For or Against ;
:x: long distant relationships:  For on a temporary basis but not for long periods of time.

:x: killing people:  Against.  Never solves anything.

:x: teenage smoking:  Neutral.

:x: driving drunk:  Against.  It's actually called stupidity.

:x: gay/lesbian relationships:  Gays and lesbians are just as human as anybody else.  Why is this issue raised again and again when they have the same rights as everyone else.

:x: soap operas:  Ooooohhh... Days of Our Lives.  *happy sigh*  Only been watching it off and on for like 20 years.

Have You ;
:x: ever cried over a girl/boy: Many a time

:x: ever been in a fist fight:  A few times.

:x: ever been arrested: Once, but it wasn't my fault.

:x: ever had a friend die:  Had a friend's dad die.  Her dad treated me better than my own parents treated me so he is truly missed.

:x: ever dated a cousin:  Ummmm.... no.

:x: ever used a gun:  A couple times at a shooting range.

:x: ever french kissed: I'm nearly 28 so what do you think?

:x: ever finished a puzzle:  Not every single one I've begun, but yes, I have finished a few.

:x: ever got surgery:  Yep.  Had a watermelon sized ovarian cyst, my left ovary, and a uteran fibroid removed all on the same day.

:x: ever got beat up:  Quite a bit

:x: ever hated someone:  I used to think I was capable of hating, but I recently realized that I don't.  It's never a person I hate, it's what they do.

:x: ever tried any drugs:  Yeah, yeah, not the happiest days of my life.

:x: ever jogged a mile:  I've been forced to.  Always ended in an asthma attack.

:x: ever played with someone's feelings:  Not intentionally.

:x: ever had feelings for someone younger than you:  Yeah.  Kinda glad it didn't work out though.



What ;
:x: shoes do you wear:  My flip flops

:x: are you scared of:  Not really afraid of anything at the moment

:x: do you sleep in:  T-shirt and sweats.

:x: did you eat for lunch:
Pizza

Number ;
:x: of times I have had my heart broken?: Thrice

:x: of hearts I have broken?:  I'm not sure I ever did.

:x: of girls I have kissed?:  I can count 3.

:x: of boys I have kissed?:  Just kissing?  Hmmm.... 10 at the very least.

:x: of guys/girls you've rejected?:  Let's just say that I used to end all the relationships because I feared the rejection.

:x: of drugs you taken:  3

:x: of accidents you been in:  None yet

:x: of people you lean on?:  Lately just 1.

:x: of people you broke up with?:  Haha!  Erm... 5 I think.


Are You ;
:x: pretty: *shrug*  Maybe.
:x: funny: Sometimes
:x: friendly: Mostly
:x: ugly: *shrug*
:x: loveable: Sure
:x: caring: I suppose so
:x: dorky: Majorly
:x: girly: Not too girly, but I do have my moments.
:x: boyish: Very occasionally
:x: smart: Sometimes.
:x: pimp: Nope
:x: angel: Not really.
:x: gangster: Definitely not.
:x: sire: Nope

Favorite ;
:x: FOUR letter word: Shoo!

:x: comedian: Not sure.

:x: candy: Something chocolate.

:x: cartoon:  No favorite

:x: cereal: Captain Crunch - peanut butter

:x: chewing gum: Orbit

:x: day of week: Friday

:x: least fave day: Tuesday

:x: jello flavor: Strawberry

Last Person Who/That ;
:x: slept in your bed: Me
:x: saw you cry: Josh
:x: made you cry: I can't remember when I cried last.  Weird.
:x: you went to the movies with: Josh and Jenna
:x: yelled at you: Nobody yells at me anymore.
:x: sent you an email: Josh - about the gaming group


Have You Ever ;
:x: said 'I love you' and meant it?: Of course.
:x: gone out in public in your pajamas?: Once or twice.
:x: kept a secret from everyone?: Sometimes you have to out of necessity
:x: cried during a movie?: Quite a few times
:x: ever at anytime owned new kids on the block?: Yes *shifty look*
:x: planned your week based on a TV guide?: Not really
:x: been on stage?: Just a school stage.
:x: been to New York?: Nope
:x: been to Florida?: Nope
:x: Hawaii?: Nuh-uh
:x: China?: No
:x: Canada?: Not there either
:x: Europe?: Or there.  (Heck, I haven't even been to Mexico and I was born a 3 hour drive from it)


This or That ;
:x: apples or bananas?: Bananas
:x: blue or red?: Blue
:x: walmart or target?: Walmart
:x: spring or fall?: Fall
:x: summer/winter: Winter
:x: trampolines or swimming pools: Pools



Lasts ;
:x: noise you heard?: TV in the background
:x: smell you sniffed?: Hazelnut candle
:x: time you went out of state/province?: In February when I went to visit a friend in Missouri all by myself.  Was soooo proud because I drove through Kansas City.
:x: car ride: Tuesday
:x: talked to: Josh
:x: hugged a tree: Been a while.  Think I need to hug one.
:x: ate: Some pretzels
:x: drank: Cherry coke zero
:x: yelled at: The kitten



Friendship/Love ;
:x: do you believe in love at first sight?:  Actually, yeah, I do
:x: do you want children one day and if so, how many?: Someday.  Maybe 2.
:x: most important thing to you in a friendship is?: Honesty


Random ;
:x: criminal record?: Nope
:x: do you speak any other languages?: Not fluently
:x: name some of your favorite things in your bedroom: The bed is nice
:x: worst feeling in the world?: Being unloved.


Your ;
:x: nickname(s): Far
:x: how old do you look?: I keep getting carded for cigarettes, so probably around 21.
:x: how old do you act?: Old.
:x: glasses/contacts?: Glasses.
:x: braces: Nope
:x: do you have any pets?: Two kitties.
:x: you get embarrassed?: Who doesn't?


Love Life ;
:x: you love or like alot: Love
:x: who was the last boy/girl you kissed: Josh
:x: who was the last boy/girl you hugged: Josh
:x: how long have you been with your boyfriend/girlfriend: 2 1/2 years</sup></sub>

Snagged from Ali

1. what was your nickname when you were young?
Ferret

2. At what age did you start to pay more attention to the oppossite sex?
I honestly can't remember.  Younger than most, I think

3. If you were to define yourself with one word, what would it be?
Meh

4. How many best friends did you have in school?
2

5. Name three things that have made a great impact on your life.
1) Family - my biological family really fucked me up and no therapist will accept my insurance to help me fix it.
2) Josh - I don't know where I'd be without him.  He's the one that backs me up on everything.
3) Children - Their fault for making me want to be a teacher. 

6. If you could change three things wrong with the world right now, what would they be?
1) Too tired to think, yet I can't sleep, otherwise I'd answer.
2)
3)

7. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
1 full blooded sister, 1 half sister, 1 step sister, 2 step brothers.

8. What is the freakiest thing that you have ever done in public.
Made out? *shrug*

9. Name the strangest place you ever had sex.
*red face*  I am so not saying.

10.  Many years after you are gone, what do you think that you are going to be remembered for?
I was the most awesome fifth grade teacher in the world - 'cause I will be. 

11. What's your best talent?
Writing.  At least sometimes.

12. Do you hate anyone right now? Do you think someone hates you?
I don't feel like hating anyone right now.  I'm sure there's a few out there that hate me though.  Can't say I blame them too much either.

13. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I ought to be a teacher by then... and a mother.  I better be.

14. What is your favorite food?
Fruits - pretty much any fruit.  I love fruit!

15. What word would you use to define your husband/boyfriend/mate?
uber-geeky

16. How many/ what kind of pets do you have?
2 black cats - Bagheera and Bruce.

17. If you could find a cure for 1 disease, what would you cure?
Diabetes

18. What is your best feature?
Men say my breasts... I say my eyes

19. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I'm borrowing a Chevy Blazer.

20. Can you touch your nose with your tounge?
Heck no.

It amazes me when I pick up the right book at the right time.  I love reading simply because a book can remind me of things easily forgotten.  The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella served as a reminder of many things.  It is actually the second time I've read the book; the first time when I was still living in California before my relationship with Josh began.  If I remember correctly, it was right after Alexa died.  Now, however, it seemed to make stronger points to me.

Samantha Sweeting spent every waking moment for seven years trying to become a partner in her top notch legal firm.  Twelve years before that was in preparation of becoming the best lawyer she could possibly be.  One single mistake (that wasn't even made by her) changed her life in a split second.  Mistakes in the legal world can obviously be costly.  This one happened to cost her client 50 million pounds.  Mistakes in her world were unacceptable, and so when the mistake came to light, she left without a single word - just walked out of the office and kept going until she landed on a stranger's doorstep.  The strangers mistook her for a housekeeper an agency sent to them.  Not having any answers of what to do about her life (especially after finding she was fired for her reaction to her own mistake), Samantha decided to make the best of the strangers' misunderstanding and remained as their housekeeper.  The funny thing is Samantha can't boil eggs much less do a load of laundry.  This top-notch lawyer ended up falling in love with the gardner and the charming country life she began to make for herself once she learned to slow down and smell the roses.  She learned to cook and clean.  Life drammatically changes for her and she just adores it. 

Suddenly the legal firm realized that Samantha never made a mistake, that a senior partner set her up to take his fall should his financial scandal be found out.  The firm fell over themselves to make it up to her and offered her an even better position in their ranks.  She was torn between accepting the offer and remaining where she was.  The gardner skipped town to make the decision easier for her.  But halfway to London,  Samantha leaves her partners on the train to find her way back to the love of her life even though she had no clue where to find him in Cornwall.  All she knew was she would find him somehow.

Gods, I love this book.  It's just absolutely wonderful. 

"It doesn't matter.  Don't beat yourself up for not knowing all the answers.  You don't always have to know who you are.  You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading.  Sometimes it's enough just to know what you're going to do next."

Soft sigh in relief.  Lately I've been searching for all the answers and getting extremely upset whenever I'd come up empy-handed.  I often thought about going to the local metaphysical store to have my tarot read so that I get some answers, but I haven't had the money to do so.  Then I read these words and realized that it doesn't matter if I have all the answers.  It really is enough just know what to do next.  For instance, I know I need to find a part time job.  That's what I need to do next.  And it doesn't really matter what kind of job it is... I know I can do anything I put my mind to as long as I have Josh's support.  I know I'm starting school next month.  That's as far as I need to go... the only answers I really need.

don't hold yourself like that you'll hurt your knees
i kissed your mouth and back that's all i need
don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
don't throw yourself like that in front of me
i kissed your mouth your back is that all you need?
don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
what i give to you is just what i'm going through
this is nothing new no no just another phase of finding
what i really need is what makes me bleed
and like a new disease she's still too young to treat
volcanoes melt me down
she's still too young
i kissed your mouth
you do not need me